Wait Here Forever | Nicholas Grider

The world is big and full of permissions and men named David, and in order to gain access to it you’ll need a certificate even though the world usually asks for a lot and the certificate doesn’t want anything from you aside from what’s already on it and the paper it’s printed on and your hands holding it because the paper makes the certificate make the world real and if the world’s real you would like to live there, probably, and David also lives in the real world and said the certificate is all it would probably take, and he also said he’s probably your boyfriend and you think he’s probably right but you’re not sure if you’re allowed to ask again.

The world is slow and full of disasters and younger brothers named Danny. In order to gain access to it David will need a signed certificate even though the world usually asks for blood but the certificate doesn't want blood from David aside from what’s already on it and the paper to soak up the blood and David’s hands to fold blood into the shape of a greeting card because greeting cards delivered make younger brothers real and and if Danny’s real David would like to find him, probably, and Danny lives somewhere back east and says an apology is all it would probably take and he also told David the last time they spoke that angels aren’t real and David is probably not one and David thinks Danny is probably right but he’s not sure if being right is helpful.

The world is bright and full of angels, and in order to gain access to it Danny will need a wedding certificate even though America usually asks for money besides the money it already has and a shiny case in which to carry it and Danny’s hands to put the shiny metal ring on the hand of a nice woman to whom he has been matched because the ring and the money make the wedding real and if the wedding is real Danny is a regular well-adjusted person, and Danny’s boss Spencer says being a regular person is probably all it would take to get ahead in the world and his boss also told Danny that regular people aren't real but that doesn’t mean Danny isn’t one and Danny thinks his boss is probably right but he’s not sure how much of normalcy is forgetfulness.

The world is full of forgotten memories and bad ones. In order to get rid of them you need a sacred oath even though the heavens usually ask for faith besides the faith it already has. Spencer’s leather-gloved hands fold into a surefire prayer because the prayers make the act of praying real and praying makes heaven real and if heaven is real Spencer can go to war against it. If Spencer can go to war against heaven he can conquer or rebuild it. Cthulhu whispers to Spencer in the voice of a young man named Asher that building a new heaven on the burial site of the old one is probably all it takes. Cthulhu also tells Spencer that if it isn’t on display it isn’t real and Spencer thinks Cthulhu is probably right but he’s not sure how to put all of reality on display unless not much of it is left.

The world is expensive and full of display cases — Asher was told wait downstairs — and in order to gain access to the higher floors Asher knows you need to say yes to rich men when they offer you money even though rich men usually ask for a whole lot in return and what the rich men want can’t always be supplied even when what Spencer wants is a display case with an engraved gold and silver suit of winged and AI-driven armor — Asher is locked inside the armor unable to free himself and the armor is locked inside the case suspended from the case’s bright transparent ceiling in the atrium of Spencer’s property up north because angels have no free will, they are simply messengers, and if Asher is on display and has no free will then Asher is a real angel and if angels are real the war against heaven can be won in a day and an army of rent boys refashioned into press-ganged angels is all it probably takes — the cops rescue Asher from the display case they ask Asher what he did to get put in there and Asher probably doesn’t have one but he’s not sure if not having an answer is allowed.

The world is out of reach and full of rent boys — permissions — Asher at the hotel conference hired to cosplay a soldier in armor of the future, fully automated — Lucy takes his picture and asks him about — Asher is approached — the walls of the ground floor luxury hotel are glass — Chicago as if lit from within — do you have permission — where are you from and — the world isn’t real but angels are — in a pine forest in Louisiana — when in Rome — you used to tell your classmates your real dad was captain America — sometimes for a week or more — a bright and shining future — sometimes they left the oven on —

the basement is full of misbehaving sons and empty boxes — what did you do — south of Chicago, south of heaven — the invite comes with money — the small apartment painted lemon yellow — second story bedroom, climb out the window — run away to join the Army — watch the stars stay in place — freedom of movement — saying a prayer beforehand asking God to make sure you can’t fly — at the hospital

the hospital is real and full of clean enough rooms — older you meet a man named Grant dying of cancer, you are in and out — younger there’s a boy named David — being an adult means you can escape — David says he’ll agree to live forever, but only if it means he lives forever in the sky as a star or an angel — forgiven or it doesn’t matter —

the army is real and full of opportunities and bare-chested fighters outdoors in winter — any bird or plane or missile in the sky —

planes and angels fall, the guy who signs off on your papers tells you, armies don’t

Nicholas Grider's story collections include Misadventure (A Strange Object/Deep Vellum) and Forest of Borders (Malarkey). An interschool MFA grad of the California Institute of the Arts, they have exhibited text and visual work in Europe, Asia, and North America.

Artwork: Double Vision, projected color photograph/collage (dimensions variable), 2025

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